I generally do not look back on my posts, for me they are like water in a stream.
I stumbled on THIS and remember most of it. The first part was my true heart as I was quite anguished over that trip. What was not said, is that the summer trip was canceled due to lack of interest. By the next year’s trip I was in a dark place and did not feel called to go. At least that is what I kept telling myself. I think I was so bitter over the 2010 trip that I refused to listen to God. I never went in 2011 even though the plead in the last paragraph of the original post was coming at me in full. (probably for the best that I did not recognise that).
Speaking of the last paragraph, I hate it now. it sounds so self absorbed. Probably because it was, as was the whole thing. I am trying to find what God’s plan is for me, where he wants me to go, when, and with who.
It’s a constant struggle to hear God. The mission trip this year has been fairly silent. What I think God is calling to me is “love the human race”, and “every available minute”??
Glory to God above.