Feeling down

Ok so I am not the best writer, probably not even a good writer, and so I should explain a little bit about myself. Since 2007 I have gone with my church down to Roatan Honduras to support a Christian Children home, its like a foster home. I fell in love with those kids, and returned each year since. That is until this last February, in February 2010 I was finally able to bring my wife along with, and Delta could not handle a little snow so they cancelled thousands of flights and we were not able to find another flight down there. While the rest of the team made the trip on Continental just fine. Since then I have been working on returing this summer, I feel as though I have some unfinished business, and I really miss the kids.

Since February and the fact that I did not make it to Honduras has left me in a haze, a funk, a little down. I really don’t generally let on, or I try not to let on that I am feeling down about certain things.This one has been hard, I have had more people notice, more then usual. Well anyhow I decided to cancel my summer trip now too. I still need to contact some of the other persons that were thinking about going. So since not being able to go, I try to read what I can about anything down there.  Information is slow or non-exsistant, so much so that I started to ready about Haiti since the earth quake. One I really like is the Livesay’s.

I read today the post that I have linked to and really sounds like what I want for Roatan. I can’t say that I hear much about Roatan to know if some of either of these people are involved, but I am sure that they are. Read this snip-it or follow the link to read all of it.

“I realize that I am not impressed by big money or influence – I don’t think big money or influential people all fancy and sitting around a business table will change a thing for Haiti. I cringe a little bit each time I read about a meeting and someone in attendance is referred to as “influential.” It may be my over-developed sense of justice, but I have very little time for “influence”.

Show me a person who will love and serve with humility. Show me a person that is more interested in touching and loving one dirty, angry, hurting person than she is in building her credentials or receiving a pat on the back or a fancy title. To me, that is influence.”

What I want, I want to feel apart of a group that wants me and needs me and my expertise, I want to feel that I can add value. I know at work that I add value or that I can add value on each and every project. On the times when I do not feel like I can add value is when they are presenting to us or invite me to a meeting in which they are going to discuss future plans and designs that they want my input. I react better then I plan. So how can I find my place, when all of this revolves around planning and not reacting. In the past I have just set myself up that I was not going to truly be involved with planing and continue along so that when the time comes I can react.

Thanks for listening, I feel better already.

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One thought on “Feeling down

  1. Pingback: A look back | The Bread Crumbs

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